Life-Giving Wounds Blog
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Our blog annually releases 30+ posts. We already feature 170+ posts from 60+ authors, who are adult children of divorce themselves, experts in psychology or healing, or both, writing from the Catholic perspective as an expression of their journey of faith and healing. We invite you to browse our library or, if you’re looking for something specific, hop over to our index page where you can find a complete list of categories, tags, and authors. The index also has a search function and a complete list of blog posts arranged chronologically.
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LATEST BLOGS
Forgiveness, Justice and Salvation
So, when we pray to forgive those that have hurt us, whether it’s the first time we are forgiving them or the seventy-seventh time we have forgiven them for the same offense, let us ask the Lord for the forgiveness powerful enough to conquer sin and death in our loved one.
The Weaver’s Daughter and the Thread
For the first time, Philothea looked at the tapestry he was creating. To her surprise, she saw it was a portrait of their family! There was Father on the left, tall and strong, with his arm around Mother on the right. In the middle in front of them both stood Philothea herself. She was surrounded by the arms of her Father and Mother, right where she belonged.
Whispers of Hope: Small, but mighty, victories
During his homily, a local priest referred to Christmas as “the whisper of a hope that never dies.” This struck me to the point of tears. These peaceful, consoling words I needed to hear this season came at the most unexpected time—and it has been a very, very long time since I have felt that sort of consolation flood my heart.
Opening My Heart To a Love that Lasts a Lifetime
When my future husband Raphy asked me if I would like to enter into a courtship with him to discern marriage together, I was excited but also scared because I didn’t know what this journey would entail. I also didn’t know if I would be truly ready to say “yes” to marriage. I desired to be married, but would I be able to do my part in it?
"The Soul of Shame" in my life: A book review & testimony
"The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves," by Curt Thompson, has been an important part of my healing journey. I picked up the book on the recommendation of a friend and a deep desire to dig into the pain of shame that was touching every part of my life. My heart was sore. I was on the path of recovery from habitual sin that had infiltrated my life for half a decade.
Silent Wounds / Heridas Silentes
Looking for answers, I’ve read many self-help books, listened to speakers, and talked to professionals, friends, and family members, but none have offered solutions. | En mi búsqueda de respuestas, he leído libros de autoayuda, he escuchado a charlistas, también he hablado con profesionales, amistades y familiares, pero ninguna de sus sugerencias me ayudaron.
Attachment Styles and the Psalms for ACODs
If you find that you do not fit under the category of a secure attachment, know that hope abounds — attachment styles can change! Through engaging in nurturing relationships with close friends or a spouse — and especially our Lord — you can become more secure in your attachments.
Whose Voice?
This poem is the fruit of that time of prayer in which God showed me how many voices I allow to control my life, my thoughts and perceptions of reality. And even more so, He showed me how I have a real choice as to what voice I choose to follow in my life.
Overcoming Childhood Emotional Neglect (or the Real Hope Jamie Could’ve Had)
To give you a picture of what [childhood emotional neglect] might look like in real life, here’s my own CEN story: My mom (your mother is usually your primary attachment figure) has had schizoaffective disorder since I was about six years old. She was too deep in her own mental and emotional roller-coaster to be a stable presence.
Child of Fear To A Child of God
What I am about to write, I honestly thought I would go to my grave with, and never discuss it out loud. It is truly a grace that I have the courage to say what I am about to say. I want to share how I went from being a child of fear to a child of God.
Mary's Response When We Ask, "Why, Lord?"
Ironically, “why” is the one question the Lord has never promised to answer. Even his own mother asks him why and he doesn’t answer her. Well, he does answer her, but not in the way she was probably hoping for. He says, “How is it that you sought me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” He responds to her question with a question. What could Jesus possibly be teaching us?
Grief, Identity, and Security
Grieving our lost identities in childhood and in our everyday lives can help us heal. At the same time if we recognize our need for security in our obsessive search for self, and realize that God is the only true source of security and steadfast love, then we will know who we are.
The Challenge and Gift of Surrendering Everything to God
I have comforted myself before in prayer and allowed Jesus to touch my wounds by wrapping my arms around myself as if they were his. I imagine him holding me while I rest my head on his chest. Today I lift my hands like a child and later cradle my cheek in the palm of my hand imagining it is his cheek against mine. It seems silly, but alone in my room I feel comforted.
When Your Parents Divorce, It Sticks with You
The Catechism says that “divorce brings grave harm . . . to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them” (2385). Traumatized is not a word to employ lightly, and its usage indicates the Church’s acknowledgment that divorce has deep and long-lasting effects on children that deserve attention and healing.
On Forgiveness and Communion
...my version of “forgiveness” was simple: never let anyone get close enough to hurt me. But the Lord broke through my defenses and gradually brought me back to Him through a reversion to the Catholic faith. ... When I first attended the Life-Giving Wounds retreat, my heart overflowed with awe and gratitude as I heard the truth about God’s intention for the love between mother, father, and child.
Hope Gap and Pseudo-Happy Endings (Movie Review)
The movie Hope Gap recently appeared in my Amazon Prime Video recommendations, with the synopsis being that Edward (Bill Nighy) suddenly announces that he is divorcing Grace (Annette Bening) after almost thirty years. Being a child of divorce, I was quite intrigued to see how the movie approached the matter, so I broke my habit of never paying extra for movies on Amazon to find out.
Sibling to Sibling Challenges and Opportunities for ACODs
One common ACOD challenge is that typical sibling-to-sibling relationship “issues” can be impacted by the family upheaval, and relationships between step-siblings bring fresh challenges, which sometimes can make a bad thing (divorce) worse and can cause even further alienation and discouragement between existing and new family members.
Navigating Boundaries as an Adult Child of Divorce (Part Four: Tips for Setting Boundaries)
May God, for Whom nothing is impossible, help you to navigate all of the relationships in your life so that you may be fully alive as a person, in your relationships with others, and in your relationship with Him.
Unmasked
Being a very proud person, I have struggled a lot, knowing that my husband knows all about my weaknesses and failings—and yet at the same time I have a very deep desire to be totally known and loved. This poem explores this theme, while also touching on the grief of losing our fifth child at 22 weeks last year.