Helpful Links
Resouces for Adult Children of Divorce
The list of resources below gives some print and online materials that can be helpful as you sort through your emotions and experiences as an adult child of divorce or separation.
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While the following resources are helpful in many respects, their listing on this page does not mean that Life-Giving Wounds endorses or agrees with every aspect or part of these resources (other than our own). They are offered here in the hopes that some of their content may be helpful to adult children of divorce or those who minister to them. We encourage you to be discerning about what resources you choose to utilize and critically evaluate them in light of your faith and values.
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Before you start your search, we suggest viewing this free Catholic course about “A Catholic’s Guide to Choosing a Therapist” by the Souls and Hearts ministry. See also our blog article “Seeking Therapy as an Adult Child of Divorce”.
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Here is a list of resources we’ve compiled for mental health crises, suicidal situations, addictions, abuse, and more.
Life-Giving Wounds Resources
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“Common Unhealthy Self-Protective Behaviors and Opposite Virtues”
“Five Key Areas for Relationship Discernment and Important Questions to Ask”
“Assessing How You Approach Boundaries,” - with Dr. Jill Verschaetse
“Specific Examination of Conscience for Adult Children of Divorce or Separation”
“Suggested Spiritual Plan of Life for Adult Children of Divorce”
Saints
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The following saints came from very broken, dysfunctional homes or could be a saintly or holy friend for children of divorce for various reasons listed. Check out their biographies.
St. Eugene de Mazenod, patron saint of dysfunctional families and a child of divorce
St. Martin de Porres, O.P., born out of wedlock and father abandoned the family
St. Margaret Costello, not an ACOD, but both of her parents abandoned her
St. Margaret of Cortona, not an ACOD, but after her mother’s death she had a cruel step-mother that forced her to flee home
St. Augustine, not an ACOD, but had an alcoholic and abusive father before his father’s conversion later in life
Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, lived in fear of his parents divorcing, see our blog article “A Saintly Friend for Children of Divorce”
Blessed Carlo Acutis, not an ACOD, but he looked out for and cared for a friend who was a child of divorce
St. John Paul II, not an ACOD, but knew intimately about the loss of family since his entire immediate family had died by the age of 21
Mother Angelica, who is not yet a blessed or saint, but is a holy person who was an ACOD in modern times
For more, see Aleteia’s article “10 Saints with Dysfunctional Families”.
Finally, the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and St. Joseph, who invites us into their family and gives us a role model of love to emulate in a unique way as an ACOD
Books
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Life-Giving Wounds: A Catholic Guide to Healing for Adult Children of Divorce or Separation written by our founders, Dr. Daniel and Bethany Meola, 2023
Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak, edited by Leila Miller, 2017. For a free PDF of this book, courtesy of the author, click this link: https://www.leilamiller.net/digitalbook
Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce by Elizabeth Marquardt, 2006
It’s Not Your Fault: A Practical Guide to Navigating the Pain and Problems from your Parents’ Divorce, by Joey Pontarelli, 2021
Torn Asunder: Children, the Myth of the Good Divorce, and the Recovery of Origins, edited by Margaret Harper McCarthy, 2017
The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: A 25 Year Landmark Study by Judith Wallerstein, Julia M. Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee, 2000
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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, Psy.D., 2015 - read our book review here
The Children of Divorce: The Loss of Family as the Loss of Being by Andrew Root, 2010
Home Will Never Be the Same Again: A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce by Carol R. Hughes and Bruce R. Fredenburg - read our book review here
The Long Way Home: The Powerful 4-Step Plan for Adult Children of Divorce By M. Gary Neuman
The Love They Lost: Living with the Legacy of Our Parents’ Divorce by Stephanie Staal, 2000
Born Only Once: The Miracle of Affirmation, by Conrad W. Baars, MD 2016.
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, updated and expanded edition 2017
Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, 1999
The Catholic Guide to Depression: How the Saints, the Sacraments, and Psychiatry Can Help You Break Its Grip and Find Happiness Again by Aaron Kheriarty, 2012
The Twelve Steps and the Sacraments by Scott Weeman, 2017
“Children and Divorce” pamphlet from the Ruth Institute
Co-Dependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie, 1986
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown, 2012
Forgiving and Reconciling: Bridges to Wholeness and Hope by Everett L. Worthington, Jr., 2003
Why Forgive? By Johann Christoph Arnold, 2000
The Good Listener by James E. Sullivan, 2000
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl, 2006 edition
Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility, revised and expanded edition, by Edward Sri, 2015
On The Christian Meaning of Human Suffering (Salvifici Doloris) by Saint John Paul II, 1984
Arise from Darkness: What to Do When Life Doesn’t Make Sense by Benedict J. Groeschel, C.F.R., 1995
Called to Love: Approaching John Paul II’s Theology of the Body by Carl Anderson and Jose Granados, 2012
Theology of the Body in One Hour by Jason Evert, 2017
A helpful list of book reviews on works concerning adult children of divorce
Podast & Videos
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Made for Love podcast (USCCB), episodes 37 and 38: “Adult Children of Divorce: Part I and Part II,” featuring Dr. Daniel Meola and others. Available here.
Messy Family podcast, episode 156: “Being an Adult Child of Divorce,” featuring Mike Hernon, who is a frequent collaborator with us. Available here.
Restored podcast, episode 9: "A Retreat for Adult Children of Divorce," featuring Dr. Daniel Meola. Available here. Note: this is a little dated using an old title for our retreats.
Restored podcast, episode 11: “I Thought My Parents’ Divorce Didn’t Affect Me,” featuring Jennifer Cox, a Life-Giving Wounds leader. Available here.
Gotta Be Saints podcast, episode 7: “Life-Giving Wounds: Healing for Adult Children of Divorce,” featuring Alexander Wolfe, a Life-Giving Wounds leader. Available here.
Audio from a Theology on Tap presentation in Arlington, VA on “Life-Giving Wounds: Pastoral Ministry for Adult Children of Divorce,” by Alexander Wolfe.
Restored podcast for adult children of divorce, which can be found here: https://restoredministry.com/podcast
Saint Raymond Nonnatus Foundation’s 10-part podcast for healing adult children of divorce:
Soto, Sarah. (Host). (2024, August 8). Life-Giving Wounds - Healing for Adult Children of Divorce Part 1 (No. Episode number) [Audio podcast episode]. In The Quest. Guadalupe Radio Network. https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/thequest/id/32506287
Soto, Sarah. (Host). (2024, August 29). Life-Giving Wounds - Healing for Adult Children of Divorce Part 2 (No. Episode number) [Audio podcast episode]. In The Quest. Guadalupe Radio Network. https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/32797052
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“Four Marriage Tips for Adult Children of Divorce” - video by Dr. Daniel Meola and Bethany Meola
“The Lifelong Impact of Divorce on Children” by Leila Miller
Articles and Blog Posts
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Life-Giving Wounds Blog articles (some of the best around!)
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“How to Cope When Your Parents Divorce Later in Life” - Grotto Network
“If You Grew Up With Divorce, You May Still Need Healing” - Grotto Network
“Forgiving Your Parents for Past (or Present) Hurts” - Grotto Network
“5 Invisible Wounds an Adult Child of Divorce May Experience” - FemCatholic
“Five Things Children of Divorce Want the Church to Know” - Catholic-Link
“Building a Strong Marriages a Child of Divorce” - Grotto Network
“When Your Parents Divorce, It Sticks With You” - Catholic Answers
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“Recovering Origins” by Margaret Harper McCarthy and Stratford Caldecott, Humanum: Issues in Family, Culture & Science (Spring 2012)
”Cold War” by Nicky Rowdon, Humanum: Issues in Family, Culture & Science (Spring 2012)
“The Good Divorce vs. The Great Divorce” by Alexander Wolfe, Humanum: Issues in Family, Culture & Science (published online March 2020)
“The Adult Children of Divorce Find Their Voice” by Leila Miller
“The Carnage of Divorce” by Msgr. Charles Pope
“Healing for Children of Divorce (Part I): Practical Wisdom from a Therapist” from FemCatholic
“Healing for Children of Divorce (Part II): Catholic Women Share Their Stories” from FemCatholic
“Healing for Children of Divorce (Part III): To Our Fellow Catholics and Children of Divorce” from FemCatholic
“Discussions on Divorce: What We’re Leaving Out” by Amanda Bambury
Several good stories and posts by adult children of divorce as part of Restored Ministry’s blog.
Artwork
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The following artwork expresses either the sadness of broken families, the joy of family life, or important Christian themes for healing. See more on our Art page!
Movies & TV Shows
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The following movies address both the realities of broken and divorced families and important themes for healing as children of these homes.
Catch Me if You Can, Movie Rating: PG-13
Good Will Hunting, Movie Rating: R
Parent Trap (1961 version and 1998 version), Movie Rating: PG
E.T. the Extra-Terrestial, Movie Rating: PG.
Mrs. Doubtfire, Movie Rating: PG-13.
Now and Then, Movie Rating: PG-13.
Weekends by Trevor Jimenez, Animated Short-Film, Movie Rating: R.
Up by Disney Pixar Films, Movie Rating: PG
A.C.O.D by Black Bear Pictures, Movie Rating: R
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The following TV shows reflect on the negative impact of parental divorce and provide content for reflection and/or healing:
The Crown, Netflix, 1st half of season 6, especially episodes 5 & 7.
Music
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The following music and music videos (found on YouTube) reflect on the reality of parental divorce and its pain from the child’s perspective, or provide a message of empathy or healing.
“Wonderful” by Everclear
“Unsteady” by X Ambassadors
“Everything You Ever Wanted” by Hawk Nelson
“Stay Together for the Kids” by Blink 182
“Stubborn Love” by Lumineers
“Because of You” and “Piece by Piece” by Kelly Clarkson
“Precious” by Depeche Mode
“Broken Home” by Papa Roach
“Two Houses” by Matthew West
“You’re Not Alone” by Meredith Andrews
“Middle Man” by Kasey Tyndall
“No Longer Slaves” by Zach Williams
“Broken Home” by 5 Seconds of Summer
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Find our Spotify Playlist Here