For many adult children of divorce or separation, experiences of loss, grief, or brokenness can feel overwhelming—like something has died within us. These wounds can tempt us to believe that hope is gone or that healing is out of reach. Yet the Gospel proclaims a powerful truth: Jesus has authority even over death itself. He calls each of us—personally and lovingly—out of the tomb and back into life.

…the evil one thinks that he can tear us down by stealing from us. But he does not know the hidden counsels of God. When the evil one steals a coat from us, we may end up going on a mission to give our cloaks as well.

For many adult children of divorce or separation, it can be easy to focus on our limitations, brokenness, or past hurts. These wounds can cloud our vision—making it difficult to see ourselves as God sees us: known, loved, and chosen. Yet the Gospel reminds us that Jesus is the Divine Physician who longs to restore our sight and heal the deeper vision of our hearts.

For many adult children of divorce or separation, it can be difficult to let others, and even God, into the wounded places of our hearts. Like the Samaritan woman, we may carry shame, isolation, or walls built to protect ourselves. Yet Jesus meets us precisely there, thirsting for our faith and longing to offer us living water.

I was praying in adoration and reflecting on how hard it is to have a truth go from your head to your heart. There are many challenges that stem from having a broken home. The actual physical separation of our parents, the unleashing of so many physical and emotional problems, and the loss of identity and sense of purpose are just a few. These can make it hard for what we know to be true to settle into our hearts.

In this reflection, Fr. Carl connects the Call of Abram, St. Paul’s encouragement to persevere in hardship, and the Transfiguration of Jesus to our own healing journey as adult children of divorce and separation.

In this reflection, Fr. Carl meditates on the intimacy of God in the second creation account. He connects this powerful image to the Gospel of Jesus’ temptation in the desert, reminding us that being beloved does not mean being free from struggle.

In this Ash Wednesday reflection, Fr. Carl invites adult children of divorce and separation to enter Lent through true interior conversion. “Rend your hearts, not your garments.” While we receive ashes and practice external disciplines, the deeper work God desires is the healing of our hearts.

In this Lenten series, Fr. Carl, a Dominican priest of the Western Province and an adult child of divorce, shares personal reflections, Scripture, and prayer for those walking the path of healing as adult children of divorce or separation (ACODs). Fr. Carl speaks about how the wounds of his parents’ divorce affected him and how bringing those wounds into the light has become a source of grace and healing.

When I first heard Nik Kershaw’s “Wouldn’t it be Good?,” in 1984, the song gave a voice to my silent struggles: that year my parents separated—for good. ... Many of the lyrics are statements of “Fight, Flight, or Freeze”—basic survival responses that our primitive brains developed to deal with life-threatening situations.

I had a priest friend of mine walk up to me and say “I’ve been praying for your future husband!” Immediately, I started to tear up. “Don’t do that. You are wasting your time,” I snapped. The sentiment meant so much to me, but I was struggling in that moment with my desire. The path to get there has not been easy, making it feel utterly impossible at times.

I wish I had known stability.

I wish I had been heard.

I wish I had been seen.

I wish I had been loved—with the love I truly needed.

I wish I had been asked, regarding the divorce, “Is this what you want?”

As we greet another year, we give thanks to God for all of his blessings in 2025 and look forward to the gift of another year to serve the Lord and help bring healing to adult children of divorce.

Here is a short recap of some of the best highlights of 2025, and some goals and dreams for what is ahead in 2026:

The other day I was walking alone and went down the sidewalk on the way to that house. The little girl inside of me said, I want to go home. I wept yet again, taking a tender moment to be with that little girl and allow her all those big feelings. Rather than shaming her, feeling embarrassed about it, or trying to move on to other things, I just waited, listened, felt, breathed.

At this Christ-moment, as we wait for the infant Jesus to be born in the mangers of our hearts, let the love of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit fill you—LET THE JOY RISE!  Put aside whatever inflicts you; LET THE JOY RISE!  We are the Body of Christ! Praise the Lord!  LET THE JOY RISE AND OVERFLOW!

What does this mean for the adult child of divorce? Jesus’ human parents...certainly did not experience the pain of divorce...If He experiences all that we experience, how can He truly know my pain? I think the answer lies in chapter 40 of Isaiah: in the all-knowing otherness of Almighty God. He who created the universe and foresaw everything...also created and foresaw me.

In this third Sunday of Advent, Gaudate Sunday, we are invited to welcome the joy of belonging to God’s family. While the wounds in our family may be a source of division and sadness, Jesus comes to bring us into a new family, the family of God. We are invited to celebrate the coming of Jesus and the joy He offers to each of us, the joy of being beloved sons and daughters.

To celebrate a “big” birthday this year, I went on a pilgrimage to Italy. When I booked it, I did not realize I would be going in a Jubilee Year and that I would walk through the Holy Doors. Once in Italy, a fellow pilgrim asked our Spiritual Director what we should do to prepare to step through the Holy Doors.

Excellent question!

In this week’s meditation, Fr. Alfredo speaks about the fire of the Holy Spirit. He tells a story of his visit to a glass blower’s shop, where he sees firsthand how the intense heat of fire can be used to purify and to allow the silica to be shaped into the vessel that the maker has designed it to be. It is not difficult to imagine how this applies to our own lives!

The flood of emotions—the fear, the anxiety, the distrust, the silence, the ache of not belonging, everything—can feel like reason enough to build walls around our hearts. These walls may be built of self-protection, hardness, or numbness. But, these walls do more than just shield us from those who may have caused harm. They harden our hearts and shut out our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who wants nothing more than to enter in, heal, and be one with us.