I Wish…
Photo by Richard Stachmann on Unsplash Published on September 11, 2022
Forty years later,
I wish I had been safe.
I wish I had known stability.
I wish I had been heard.
I wish I had been seen.
I wish I had been loved—with the love I truly needed.
I wish I had been asked, regarding the divorce, “Is this what you want?”
I wish I had not been put in the middle.
I wish someone had seen how the pain affected me—inside and out.
I wish someone had looked into my eyes and understood what I was going through.
I wish I had not been the last child picked up at daycare.
I wish I had been warned when anger and yelling were on the horizon.
I wish I had been free to play, to roam, to explore.
I wish they had known the pain their decisions caused me.
I wish I could have gone to sleep when I was tired.
I wish I could have eaten food that was healthy.
I wish I had not learned to hide from pain just to escape the pain.
I wish someone had taken the time to ask me how I was doing.
I wish someone had sensed the cry for help screaming inside me.
No child should ever carry such ugliness, such pain.
“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
About the Poem:
I have never written a poem until this one. I was reading Life-Giving Wounds: A Catholic Guide to Healing for Adult Children of Divorce or Separation (Ignatius Press, 2023) and started to pray/meditate over one of the chapters and this poem came about. All glory to God for giving me the grace to continually surrender myself and my brokenness and wounds to Him. I hope this poem will resonate with others and help aid in the process of healing and renewal.
A Prayer to the Holy Wounds of Jesus
O Lord Jesus Christ, I thank you for your five sacred wounds.
In your Left Foot, I sink and hide all the sins I have ever committed; have mercy on me.
In your Right Foot, I sink and bury all my desires, that they may be purified and remain unspotted by any earthly stain.
In your Left Hand, I enclose all my spiritual and bodily ills, that in union with your sufferings they may become sweet to me, and by patience become a fragrant scent before God.
In your Right Hand, I hide all the omissions which I have committed, that they may be atoned for by your ardent works.
In your Sweetest Sacred Heart, I place myself, and there unite my imperfect love to your Divine Love, that it may be perfected.
On all your Wounds, I lay flowers of gratitude, and I ask in return that You mend my heart with the dart of your love. Amen.
Prayer inspired by and adapted from the writings of St. Mechtilde of Hackeborn.
(The above prayer can be found on the Life-Giving Wounds website’s Prayer page here.)
About the Author:
Tony Frasco is married with seven children. He has a BA and MA and Theology and is the COO of The Rome Boys. He is pursuing a career to become a Licensed Professional Counselor. He is author of the book Reflection of the Son: A Scriptural Rosary and Marian Guide.
Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals:
What resonated with you in this poem? Are any parts similar to your own experiences?
Pick one of the above wishes and meditate on it. Imagine yourself again as that child. What are you feeling? What is the environment around you like in your imagination? What is happening in your imagination? Are there other people around?
What would you say to a child in a similar situation now?
Healing happens when we journey together.
If Tony’s poem resonated with you, consider ordering a copy of Dr. Dan and Bethany Meola’s book Life-Giving Wounds: A Catholic Guide to Healing for Adult Children of Divorce or Separation. You do not have to carry the darkness alone.
Or join us at an upcoming Life-Giving Wounds event.
Together, we can walk into the light.