Life-Giving Wounds Blog
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Welcome to the Life-Giving Wounds blog!
Our blog annually releases 30+ posts. We already feature 170+ posts from 60+ authors, who are adult children of divorce themselves, experts in psychology or healing, or both, writing from the Catholic perspective as an expression of their journey of faith and healing. We invite you to browse our library or, if you’re looking for something specific, hop over to our index page where you can find a complete list of categories, tags, and authors. The index also has a search function and a complete list of blog posts arranged chronologically.
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LATEST BLOGS
Searching for Hearth and Home: Finding Healing with the Focolare Movement
In the past five years, since I first encountered the Focolare, I have spent time at men’s and women’s Focolare houses both in Rome and in the United States. As I have done so, something very interesting has been happening: I feel more and more like I have found a lost treasure. I am once again able to gather in a living room where everyone is all together—there are no secrets, grudges, reservations, ulterior motives, or escape plans. We are simply united.
The Name of Grief
This poem came to me while attending the Life-Giving Wounds Retreat. Its first stanza represents the effects of parents divorcing: the scouring isolation of our flesh rent from our parents; the aimless wandering of the desires of the world put before us as children, and the hellish, screaming torment of the evil spirits our little souls had no business being forced to face so young. Yet, even with the immediate consequences of the family’s rending noted in the second stanza, the last words are the Word Himself coming to save—with His own winged arm, His own garden, His own tears. He is the last Word, Who as the Sun of Justice, purges away the lie in our flesh, lights the one Way through this passing world, and silently warms the little sons and daughters in the True Son.
Joyful Mysteries Mediation: The Second Mystery—The Visitation
Our presence to one another is powerful. The words we speak to one another are powerful. The healing power of Christ that is present and active in both is transformative. When we share parts of our stories with one another the wound of silence is exposed and healed, bit by bit. ... It all begins when there is another, be it God the Father, Jesus in the Eucharist, a sibling, a spiritual director, or a beloved friend, to hear and to receive us together with our wounds.
Joyful Mysteries Mediation: The First Mystery—The Annunciation
Trusting God takes courage; we can turn to Mary for inspiration and grace. Her Fiat at the Annunciation would eventually take her to the foot of the Cross, where she would renew her ‘yes’ in the suffering and desolation of Calvary. May we have the courage to bring our wounds to God, who alone can heal us and give us our true identity.
Servant of God Vincent Capodanno’s Courage and Battling Our ACOD Wounds
“The better part” would have been to sit quietly with Jesus and listen to Him. This takes courage.
Of course this kind of courage is not the same as Fr. Capodanno’s when he laid down his life for his friends on the battlefield. But it takes courage nevertheless, to deal with our ACOD wounds, among others. These are the spiritual battles we may need to fight every day.
Foreboding Joy
One of the biggest struggles in my healing journey has been combatting foreboding joy. I say “combat” for good reason. It is often a battle and an immense struggle to push back against this ominous feeling that at any moment, even at the most joyous of moments, the other shoe could drop and something horrible could be just around the corner. That being said, I have hope because, although the battle is fierce, I am not alone in fighting it. None of us are.
What Didn’t Happen, What I Wanted to Happen, & What Really Happened: Three Versions of a Scene From Middle School Me. Episode 1— The Laugh
Did you struggle to ‘fit in’ as a child of divorce? Same here. Did you, maybe, not even know that the child-of-divorce identity was writing your scenes? I had no clue. With the support of my therapist and my love of theatre, I have decided to do some rewrites; this is the first in a series of recollection reimaginings. Does it change my past? Of course not. But these rewrites are a gift to current me—because it allows me to process—and future me—as a way to remember I do not have to live in hiding and in shame. I can live in the joy and peace of Christ, and so can my past.
Disorder and Salty Manna
I feel disordered,
like the Israelites in the desert
in search of a home.
Dune after dune in life,
the ground constantly moves
creating tiny still catacombs.
Burying whatever
little security I had left
from the lack of my parents’
faithfulness.
A Litany of Healing for Adult Children of Divorce
In one of my counseling sessions, my therapist thought it may be helpful to create a list of my wounds that stemmed from my parents’ divorce. When I heard the word “list,” I then thought of the word “litany.” Thus, the idea was born to turn this list into a litany prayer. This helped in two ways: first, I was able to approach God in a tangible way to ask for healing and begin to receive it. And second, it was a “leave no stone unturned” experience where I could shed light on those wounds that were festering.
The ‘Secret Club’ No One Wants: Growing Up as a Child of Divorce
...if you’re also in this “secret club” of adult children of divorce, I’m sharing my story for you. In November 2024, I attended Life-Giving Wounds, a retreat meant for adult children of divorce and separation co-sponsored by the Archdiocese of Denver. At that retreat, for the first time, I heard stories like mine. Like ours. I cried to know that someone understood me in a way I hadn’t even understood myself.
Little Girl, You Are the Queen of France: A Synthesis and Review of Victor Hugo’s ‘Les Miserables’
...although Les Miserables seems at first like it would be a tragedy, it becomes a comedy: ending with marriage and heaven. Cosette’s parents’ separation cast her into a terrible living situation. Her life’s journey is a long slog, wrought with many uncomfortable trials and having to make due without a real home for a very long time. In the end, with her brand new husband and discovering just how deeply she has been loved by Jean Valjean, she once again might feel as though someone were saying to her, “Little girl, you are the queen of France.”
The Grace of a Listening Heart
Little by little, praying to the Sacred Heart of Jesus has become the center of my prayer life. This Heart has become my ultimate refuge. The true “abandoned heart” is that of Christ—a heart that is both entirely surrendered to the divine will and filled with a love so intense that it cannot be contained within itself. An abandoned heart is a heart that gives itself. A heart that listens.
Video: Journey to Easter Sixth Sunday - 2026 - Palm Sunday
For many adult children of divorce or separation, personal wounds can feel heavy, confusing, and isolating. We may spend much of our lives trying to understand or heal our own pain. Yet this week, we are invited to turn our gaze toward Jesus, to encounter Him in His wounds and discover there the source of our healing.
Properly Understanding Guilt is Acknowledging Our Value to God
But guilt, properly understood, is not the denigration of ourselves, but is instead an acknowledgment of our extraordinary, ultimately incalculable, value to God. Our acknowledgment of our failure is our acknowledgment of the vast chasm between what we have made of ourselves, and what we know God has made us to be.
Video: Journey to Easter 2026 - Fifth Sunday of Lent - 2026
For many adult children of divorce or separation, experiences of loss, grief, or brokenness can feel overwhelming—like something has died within us. These wounds can tempt us to believe that hope is gone or that healing is out of reach. Yet the Gospel proclaims a powerful truth: Jesus has authority even over death itself. He calls each of us—personally and lovingly—out of the tomb and back into life.
If Someone Takes Your Coat, Hand Him Your Cloak As Well
…the evil one thinks that he can tear us down by stealing from us. But he does not know the hidden counsels of God. When the evil one steals a coat from us, we may end up going on a mission to give our cloaks as well.
Video: Fourth Sunday Journey to Easter 2026
For many adult children of divorce or separation, it can be easy to focus on our limitations, brokenness, or past hurts. These wounds can cloud our vision—making it difficult to see ourselves as God sees us: known, loved, and chosen. Yet the Gospel reminds us that Jesus is the Divine Physician who longs to restore our sight and heal the deeper vision of our hearts.
Video: Journey to Easter - Third Sunday of Lent
For many adult children of divorce or separation, it can be difficult to let others, and even God, into the wounded places of our hearts. Like the Samaritan woman, we may carry shame, isolation, or walls built to protect ourselves. Yet Jesus meets us precisely there, thirsting for our faith and longing to offer us living water.
Video: Journey to Easter - First Sunday of Lent - 2026
In this reflection, Fr. Carl meditates on the intimacy of God in the second creation account. He connects this powerful image to the Gospel of Jesus’ temptation in the desert, reminding us that being beloved does not mean being free from struggle.
Video: Journey to Easter - Ash Wednesday - 2026
In this Ash Wednesday reflection, Fr. Carl invites adult children of divorce and separation to enter Lent through true interior conversion. “Rend your hearts, not your garments.” While we receive ashes and practice external disciplines, the deeper work God desires is the healing of our hearts.
In one of my counseling sessions, my therapist thought it may be helpful to create a list of my wounds that stemmed from my parents’ divorce. When I heard the word “list,” I then thought of the word “litany.” Thus, the idea was born to turn this list into a litany prayer. This helped in two ways: first, I was able to approach God in a tangible way to ask for healing and begin to receive it. And second, it was a “leave no stone unturned” experience where I could shed light on those wounds that were festering.