For many adult children of divorce or separation, experiences of loss, grief, or brokenness can feel overwhelming—like something has died within us. These wounds can tempt us to believe that hope is gone or that healing is out of reach. Yet the Gospel proclaims a powerful truth: Jesus has authority even over death itself. He calls each of us—personally and lovingly—out of the tomb and back into life.

…the evil one thinks that he can tear us down by stealing from us. But he does not know the hidden counsels of God. When the evil one steals a coat from us, we may end up going on a mission to give our cloaks as well.

For many adult children of divorce or separation, it can be easy to focus on our limitations, brokenness, or past hurts. These wounds can cloud our vision—making it difficult to see ourselves as God sees us: known, loved, and chosen. Yet the Gospel reminds us that Jesus is the Divine Physician who longs to restore our sight and heal the deeper vision of our hearts.

For many adult children of divorce or separation, it can be difficult to let others, and even God, into the wounded places of our hearts. Like the Samaritan woman, we may carry shame, isolation, or walls built to protect ourselves. Yet Jesus meets us precisely there, thirsting for our faith and longing to offer us living water.

In this reflection, Fr. Carl meditates on the intimacy of God in the second creation account. He connects this powerful image to the Gospel of Jesus’ temptation in the desert, reminding us that being beloved does not mean being free from struggle.

In this Ash Wednesday reflection, Fr. Carl invites adult children of divorce and separation to enter Lent through true interior conversion. “Rend your hearts, not your garments.” While we receive ashes and practice external disciplines, the deeper work God desires is the healing of our hearts.

I had a priest friend of mine walk up to me and say “I’ve been praying for your future husband!” Immediately, I started to tear up. “Don’t do that. You are wasting your time,” I snapped. The sentiment meant so much to me, but I was struggling in that moment with my desire. The path to get there has not been easy, making it feel utterly impossible at times.

At this Christ-moment, as we wait for the infant Jesus to be born in the mangers of our hearts, let the love of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit fill you—LET THE JOY RISE!  Put aside whatever inflicts you; LET THE JOY RISE!  We are the Body of Christ! Praise the Lord!  LET THE JOY RISE AND OVERFLOW!

What does this mean for the adult child of divorce? Jesus’ human parents...certainly did not experience the pain of divorce...If He experiences all that we experience, how can He truly know my pain? I think the answer lies in chapter 40 of Isaiah: in the all-knowing otherness of Almighty God. He who created the universe and foresaw everything...also created and foresaw me.

In this third Sunday of Advent, Gaudate Sunday, we are invited to welcome the joy of belonging to God’s family. While the wounds in our family may be a source of division and sadness, Jesus comes to bring us into a new family, the family of God. We are invited to celebrate the coming of Jesus and the joy He offers to each of us, the joy of being beloved sons and daughters.

The flood of emotions—the fear, the anxiety, the distrust, the silence, the ache of not belonging, everything—can feel like reason enough to build walls around our hearts. These walls may be built of self-protection, hardness, or numbness. But, these walls do more than just shield us from those who may have caused harm. They harden our hearts and shut out our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who wants nothing more than to enter in, heal, and be one with us.

As our hearts were warped by the tragedy of divorce, and the wounds that compounded afterwards, Fr. Alfredo’s message reminds us that the Word can come into our hearts and provide new life.

Every time I would go back to that house...I would silently walk into my old closet. I would spend some time there staring at all of my clothes which seemed to shrink as the years passed. ...At some point, however, it became glaringly obvious that I would never fit into those clothes again. My closet became a time capsule, a glimpse into a life that I once lived.

The Seven Sorrows Rosary is a chaplet prayer that commemorates the seven sorrows of Mary. Each sequence on a seven sorrows rosary has seven beads instead of ten, and there are seven sets of beads... Throughout the devotion we meditate on the maternal sorrows and sufferings of Mary that she lived through as the Mother of God. This is a devotion that I would highly recommend as an ACOD.

Eventually, I found myself at a Blessed is She retreat in which Father John Burns shared a stunning Scriptural message of our Heavenly Father’s love…. Receiving the words he spoke proved to be a pivotal moment in my life.

In a recent study put out by the Center for Economic Studies, data shows that children of divorced parents have an elevated risk of jail time, elevated risk of mortality, increased risk of teen birth, and reduced adult earnings...This study marks a milestone in our scientific community’s recognition of divorce as a trauma...and is a great piece of scientific leverage for our ministry to stand on.

...I was excited to receive a request from Life Giving Wounds to write a book review for Unshakable Saints Around the World... Since I had received so much healing from children’s books already, it made sense to me that a children’s book of Saints would be wonderful for ACODs, both for personal healing, as well as it means for sharing that healing with the children in our lives.

As children of divorce, we did not choose our parents’ separation in the way that a missionary volunteers to go on mission. However, if we choose to embrace our union with Jesus in being torn asunder, then we can begin to experience “the pain of that separation” as a kind of “personal vocation.” In union with Jesus crucified, the pain of being torn asunder can be transfigured.

Experiencing rejection from someone you really like, and feel a connection to, is always a painful experience. For an adult child of divorce (ACOD), it can be painful and challenging in a whole other light. I am speaking from personal experience due to a rejection that I experienced recently. I know I am not alone in this. While living in Spain, I met and began talking to and getting to know a Spanish man. He and I shared the same Catholic faith and the same values. We talked so easily and could speak each other’s languages. I sensed no red flags and felt at peace and hopeful about discerning a dating relationship that I could see coming. I believe that he did, too. I began to feel a connection early on, but, alas, before too much time, he rejected me, with the only reason being that I was a foreigner: I am an American of Mexican heritage.

Our suffering—our wounds—are now no longer meaningless or purely negative; they are also sources of grace and points of intimacy with God. Christ is waiting in our wounds, to show us His particular love for us, in wounds that only He and I share. “The Sacred Heart desires other hearts that are pierced by suffering that he can pour himself into.” (Jacques Philipe, Time for God) In my particular vocation, I am married to Christ, and he is my suffering Spouse. He is nailed to one side of the Cross and I am nailed to the other. That cross in our marriage bed. But this can apply to all souls, because we are all called to union with Christ and have unique wounds that we only share with Christ.