How to Cope When Your Parents Divorce Later in Life
When Bruce Fredenburg was 31, he learned that his parents were getting divorced. His mom and dad had fought often during their marriage, so this wasn’t a huge surprise for him. But when it was actually happening, Bruce was surprised at how shocked and disturbed he felt.
“After all,” he says, “I was a fully independent adult. I thought this news should not so strongly affect me. … I worried about how I would navigate the new life that was unfolding in front of me.”
Bruce went on to become a marriage and family therapist, and together with fellow therapist (and fellow child of divorce) Carol Hughes, wrote a guide for people like himself, whose parents called it quits later in life.
The phenomenon known as “gray divorce” — when couples older than 50 end their marriage — has grown dramatically in the past few decades. Since the 1990s, the divorce rate has doubled for Americans over 50, and tripled for those over 65. And the trend doesn’t seem to be abating any time soon.
What about the children in these situations, like Bruce? They are young adults or adults themselves, perhaps out of the home or getting ready to “launch.” How does their parents’ split affect them?