Music Review: “Wouldn’t it be Good?” – An ACOD Anthem
Image description from the author: The image is a collage of YouTube thumbnails for the different versions of Nik Kershaw's song, "Wouldn't It Be Good?" The arrangement, selection, and coordination of these YouTube images is by the author who believes it visually communicates the song’s progression and longevity over forty years.
When I first heard Nik Kershaw’s “Wouldn’t it be Good?,” in 1984, the song gave a voice to my silent struggles: that year my parents separated—for good.
Wherever you are, please (safely) stop and listen to this song, and what I am about to write will make more sense. Perhaps the lyrics, dissonant layered guitar, and edgy vocals might resonate with your own personal divorce story.
The Tune: Elements of a Classic Panic Attack
Guitar chords played in diminished fifths, the tritone, make the tune dissonant and unsettling. Diminished fifths are sometimes called “Diabolus in Musica,” or “the devil’s interval” conveying tension & discomfort. The layered guitar resembles nervousness: shaking hands, erratic breathing, and quivering stomach, going on while a steady drumbeat in the background is like a heartbeat, as if hearing your own heart beat under the noise of the outside world. Kershaw’s voice is unique and edgy—slightly off-key with a flat affect. Syncopation from the synthesizer gives the song a quirky rhythm, which makes the tune catchy, but also unstable. Diminished fifths resolve in the chorus, “wouldn’t it be good?” and support the sad lyrics of, “grass is always greener over there!”
The Lyrics: Fight, Flight, Freeze Response
Many of the lyrics are statements of “Fight, Flight, or Freeze”—basic survival responses that our primitive brains developed to deal with life-threatening situations. (Fight: “stay out of my shoes, if you know what’s good for you.” Flight: “wouldn’t it be good to wish ourselves away.” Freeze: “the cold is biting, through each and every nerve and fiber. My broken spirit is frozen to the core.”)
In Anxiety: A Catholic Guide to Freedom from Worry and Fear, Art and Laraine Bennett, in collaboration with their daughter Lianna Bennett Haidar, discuss that while our brains may be “wired to worry”, we can manage fear and anxiety by leaning into our faith and mindfully living in the “sacrament of the present moment” (Cf. Chapter 9). “Steps to Finding Calm in the Present Moment” is a wonderful practice in the book that calms the mind and soothes the soul. Found on page 177, the practice begins with taking a calming breath, relaxing, and noticing the anxiety in the present moment without trying to fix it or argue with it. Then, you can become curious about it. As poet and novelist James Stephens once said, "curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will." Accept the intrusive thought and all that comes with it, without judgment, and be present to it. Finally, take a deep breath and notice whatever reaction is going on in your body (maybe the physical responses described in the lyrics). Hold it, accept it, and let it go, like a balloon, exhaling with a sigh. I have adopted this practice in Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament. With Jesus present to me, while I am present to Him with my anxiety, I am able to let my stress go into His Hands and know He is with me in all my anxiety.
Other lyrics describe falling into despair (“I’m sick of fighting, even though I know I should”), and feeling alone in our pain (“You must be joking; you don’t know a thing about it.”). Then, the chorus repeats, the “grass is always greener over there.” Father David Dufresne gave an excellent homily at a Life-Giving Wounds Mass where he put it bluntly: “the grass is brown all over.” What did he mean? I reached out to Father David and told him about my work reviewing Kershaw’s song and how his line in that homily stuck with me. He had this to say in response:
Essentially, one side of the coin is that we should acknowledge “how bad we got it…” that all the pain and trauma that comes from our parents divorcing are real and should not be dismissed nor downplayed.
Yet, the danger, as we hear in Kershaw’s song, is that we try to compare that pain to other people–to be in their shoes–and simply imagine that because our pain is so real and so deep theirs must be insignificant or easy to deal with.
So the phrase of “the grass is brown everywhere” was a reminder to deal with our own pain, don’t try to escape it or ignore it, and above all don’t compare it with others and either fall into despair because we think everyone else has it easier or fall into a helpless victimization mentality.
We may think we are unique in our suffering, but everyone has their own cross that they “take up daily.” You are not alone in your suffering. We may want to escape it and “wish ourselves away.” If the refrain of “don’t wanna be here no more,” is real for you, please, get help. Reach for the phone before you reach for something to hurt yourself. Do not lose hope in times of trouble. “I have told you this so that you might have peace in me. In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.” (John 16:33).
Different versions over time: “The Little Black Dress” of Songs
This song has held up over forty years in different versions, like a “little black dress” that is likely to be in a woman’s wardrobe. Dress it up or down, it is perfect for different occasions and never goes out of style.
“Wouldn’t it be good?” was on the “Pretty in Pink” Movie Soundtrack (1986), an 80’s RomCom about class differences. During my parents’ divorce, for me the song was not about economic poverty, but emotional and spiritual poverty. Wouldn’t it be good to have a stable in-tact family behind me, “even if it was for just one day”?
In the original music video, Kershaw is an alien trying to blend in by being different people (projected on his white suit). He is on the run and ultimately, surrounded by enemies. When have we felt like an alien? Pretending to be someone else, feeling threatened the way we are and not belonging? I did when this song was popular.
Live Aid (July 1985) was a historic concert that raised money for African famine relief. Satellite broadcast to almost two billion people in 150 countries, it was seen by 40% of the world’s population. Live Aid featured a massive lineup of global superstars, including Queen, Mick Jagger, Tina Turner, U2, Elton John, Paul McCartney, and…this guy! Why? Why was Nik Kershaw and his only hit song given a spot at Live Aid?
Thousands of fans are singing along with, “don’t wanna be here no more,” because we all suffer, even if our circumstances are different. There is a ‘meta’ joke in this song in this context, too. Live Aid happened on a sunny day, performed by the greatest-of-all-time in rock music, and the concert may have relieved some starvation, too. Not bad. The song resonating at Live Aid illustrates how it is human nature to complain, even when there is so much to cheer about. As St. Paul states, “If then you were raised with Christ, seek what is above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Think of what is above, not of what is on earth.” (Colossians 3:1-2)
Kershaw said in a recent interview:
I can’t explain the terror, really. Live Aid was one of the most terrifying things I’ve ever done. Nobody got a sound check, nobody got any kind of a run through or anything, so basically you were just walking on stage in the hope that somehow your equipment; a) would be there, and b) would be working.
I actually did forget the words in ‘Wouldn’t It Be Good’. That was one of those out of body experiences I will never forget; me looking at myself, telling myself that I didn’t know the words…I was frantically singing and trying to remember the words to the next bit at the same time, and failing. (emphasis original) I ended up singing the first verse again. It was a moment I’ll never forget.”
Even though I have watched this video dozens of times, I still do not see the part where Nik says he was “failing.” Only in 2005 (twenty years later!) did Kershaw say he “braved it” and watched a recording of his performance. He admits, “I looked at that bit where I forgot the words, and you’re right, it wasn’t even half as bad as I remember it.”
So much here about dealing with fear! We may have good reasons to be terrified, like having no rehearsal or “do-over” of a performance in front of two billion people. We may even forget our lines. Yet, our failing may not show in our performance the way we think it does and is not “half as bad” as we remember it!
Thirty-five years later, Wouldn’t It Be Good? still holds up. He performed his song at 80’s in Concert (2019) accompanied by a full orchestra. Kershaw has a different look (he lost the parachute pants, fluffy mullet, and K-Swiss sneakers). Like Rick Springfield—another musical artist from the same era—Nik is comfortable with his age, and still looks cool. The arrangement and orchestration are glorious. A full orchestra of younger classical musicians are backing up one graying guy playing guitar, which underscores that this song still lands even generations later.
For me, a highlight of the video is when Nik playfully cues the audience to sing along with, “I don’t wanna be here no more.” There is universality in the sentiment behind the song and why people still know the words decades later. Everyone at times feels like an alien (“you don’t know a thing about it.”) and suffers. When we do, we have backing, like a symphony, perhaps from extended family, a parish, friends, and always, the love of Our Lord. Whatever that suffering may be, we are not alone in it; we can unite our suffering with Christ’s. We may change over time, but He never does.
A Saint's Thought for Personal Reflection:
“Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. All things pass away. God never changes. Patience obtains all things. They who have God lack nothing. God alone suffices.”
Found written in the margins of the breviary St. Teresa of Avila was using at the time of her death in 1582.
Editor’s Note:
For those struggling with their mental health, here is a resource page from Life-Giving Wounds to Christian and Catholic mental health resources that may be a start.
If you are having or have had thoughts of harming yourself or others, or feel like you are experiencing a mental health emergency or mental health crisis, please do any or all of the following:
1. Call 911 or go to the nearest Emergency Department for help and an evaluation
2. Text the Crisis Text Hotline: Text HOME to 741-741
3. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call or text 988
4. Chat with crisis centers around the U.S.: Lifeline Crisis Chat, https://988lifeline.org/chat/
About the author:
Eudora Jayne is a pseudonym and means “good gift” and “God is gracious.”
Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals:
How does Kershaw’s song Wouldn’t it be good? resonate with your ACOD story?
What elements of Kershaw's song have you experienced first-hand?
What are the physical responses to stress and anxiety you have noticed in your body that Kershaw sings about? What did you do to manage them? What are ways you can be present to those feelings, without judgment, and let them go?
Reflect again on Father David Dufresne’s remark that “the grass is brown all over.” How does that line speak to you? What are examples of when you noticed this to be true?
If Eudora’s music review resonated with you, consider checking out our mental health resource for more resources on understanding and dealing with mental health as an ACOD. You do not have to carry the darkness alone.