St. Joseph: A Father Who Stayed
"Blessed Joseph, to us too,
Show yourself a father
And guide us in the path of life.
Obtain for us grace, mercy and courage,
And defend us from every evil. Amen"
- Prayer of Pope Francis to St Joseph in “The Heart of a Father", an apostolic letter for the year of St Joseph
St Joseph is a great example of a father who stayed. Even when he thought of 'putting away' Mary quietly, not exposing her to shame (and death), he didn't. He was a just man, and able to listen to God telling him to instead take Mary into his home and to be the foster father of the child she was carrying.
Joseph stayed. I find that very comforting. It’s a reason I think he makes a great patron for those whose fathers did not stay. For those children of divorce or separation who feel abandoned by their earthly fathers. Because for St. Joseph, regardless of the hardships, the journeys, the flights, and the hard work, his love was always greater. He always stayed with Our Lady and Jesus, until his death.
St. Joseph is a saint that it took me a while to get close to, and yet it happened almost accidently. It started with me going to kneel at his statue during parents weekend at my college. My parents were not present, due to their divorce looming. I prayed that somehow St. Joseph would fix this. But he obviously couldn't force the wills of others. I did, however, get a few friends named after St. Joseph who came into my life after that prayer (including my future husband!). These friends constantly pointed to St. Joseph as the example of the perfect father, a father who always honored the dignity of his wife and child, and who always points out the dignity of his spiritual children. One who would never abuse, neglect, or abandon his family.
St Joseph is an extraordinary example of a father who stays. And for those adult children of divorce whose fathers did not stay, St Joseph can step into that gap. He can be the example of a father who never leaves. By doing so, he is a clear reflection of God the Father, who never abandons his children.
St. Joseph was willing to face uncertainty, hardship, and trials in order to provide for and protect his family. In the Gospels, whenever he is warned of danger he immediately takes Jesus and Mary to safety. He doesn't grumble, or say "Why me?", "What Again!?", or "I'm done." He never begrudges his role of spouse and father. Instead, he immediately takes care of his family’s needs in a selfless way.
And much like Our Lady, whose motherly duties still continue in regards to the mystical body of Christ (all of us), so St Joseph's role of father continues. In a very real sense, he will be a father to those who need him. He will be there to guide through the darkest parts of this life those who have no earthly father to look to for guidance. He will be a protector of those who have no father to protect them.
This year of St. Joseph is a wonderful time to delve into the life of this wonderful saint, through the biblical stories about him (for example: Mt. 1:18-25 and 2:13-15), what other saints have shared about their devotion to him, and the many beautiful prayers and hymns about him. Pope Francis also wrote a beautiful letter about him to mark this year.
In St. Joseph, everyone can find a father who points unwaveringly to the Truth that God the Father loves us and always stays.
Heather Strickland is a graduate of Christendom College. While there she spent a good deal of time in the Legion of Mary, where she learned a lot about looking at those suffering in the world through Mary's Motherly gaze. While at college she also met her husband, now happily married for five years. They have settled down in Northern VA with their son.