5 Invisible Wounds an Adult Child of Divorce May Experience

If your parents are divorced or have split up, you’re not alone. While family breakdown can impact a child’s life in several noticeable ways - such as being more likely to grow up in poverty, more likely to drop out of school, and more likely to experience emotional or behavioral problems - it’s harder to see the invisible wounds that can last into adulthood. But these wounds are no less real, and deserve attention in order to heal. Here are five invisible wounds that adult children of divorce may experience.

1. The wound of silence

Many adult children of divorce report feeling pressure (explicit or perceived) to not share their honest feelings about how their parents’ split affected them. Maybe they feel surrounded by what researcher Elizabeth Marquardt calls “divorce happy talk” that makes negative feelings seem unwelcome or even wrong. Or maybe they’re still reeling from the trauma of divorce (the word used in the Catechism), which can make people “freeze,” unable to examine the source of pain out of an understandable need for survival.

Please continue reading the full article on FemCatholic:

https://www.femcatholic.com/post/5-invisible-wounds-an-adult-child-of-divorce-may-experience

[Editor’s note: if you are having trouble accessing it on their website, click here for an archived copy.]

About the Author:

Bethany Meola is the co-founder and co-director of Life-Giving Wounds, together with her husband Dan. She holds a masters of theological studies from the Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family in Washington, DC.

Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals

  1. Which of Bethany’s five points resonated with you most? Why may that be?

  2. Can you think of other wounds that could be added to the list generally or from your particular experience?

Bethany Meola

Bethany Meola is happily married to Daniel Meola. She has a master of theological studies degree from the Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family in Washington, D.C. She and Dan met there and married in 2011. Bethany served the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops for seven years in the Secretariat of Laity, Marriage, Family Life and Youth. Among other tasks, she managed the website For Your Marriage, researched and wrote on various topics related to marriage and family, and gained an appreciation for the various ministries offered (and not offered) throughout the country. In 2017, Dan and Bethany welcomed their daughter Zelie-Louise through the gift of adoption, and Bethany became a stay-at-home mom. And in 2019, Grace joined their family, also through adoption. Bethany assists with many of the behind-the-scenes operations of Life-Giving Wounds.

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