About the Life-Giving Wounds Retreat
The Life-Giving Wounds retreat is a unique opportunity for young adults (18+) and adults with divorced or separated parents to reflect intentionally on the wounds caused by their family’s breakdown, together with others who know this pain and knowledgeable, compassionate retreat leaders. With the help of God, retreat attendees learn to see how their life-draining wounds can become a life-giving mission of love for themselves, their relationships, and others.
The “path” of the retreat follows a Paschal journey through first the pain (“death”) of their parents’ divorce or separation by uncovering and grieving various layers of the wound, then the deep joy (“rising”) of accepting their deepest identity as a beloved child of God and becoming more aware of Christ in their lives and wounds, then to discovering a way forward (“going forth”) to sustain healing and a mission in the midst of their suffering.
The retreat model is either a three-day format in person (see sample schedule here), or a seven-week weekly format when offered online (we do one online retreat a year). The experienced Life-Giving Wounds traveling retreat team can direct the first retreat in a locale, which includes training local leaders to continue the retreat into the future. More information about bringing the retreat to your parish, diocese, or campus can be found here.
Who should attend the retreat?
We realize that everyone’s story of divorce or separation is unique. We believe – and we have seen – that the retreat has something to offer everyone who has experienced their parents’ divorce or separation, no matter when it happened or the particular circumstances involved. The retreat is also for those whose parents received a declaration of nullity (annulment) or whose parents never married (and are no longer together).
We are also aware that participants come on this retreat at very different places in their spiritual and healing journeys. The retreat leaders aim to accompany everyone with kindness and compassion, but it’s important to discern prior to going on retreat whether you’re at a healthy place to closely examine the wounds and sadness caused by your parents’ divorce or separation. For those currently working with a counselor or therapist, we recommend asking their professional opinion.
What is included in the retreat?
See sample in-person retreat schedule here
*Presentations by trained retreat leaders. Presentations cover a broad range of topics, including how one’s parents’ divorce or separation affects one’s identity and relationship with God; its impact on trust, dating, and marriage; ways to navigate anger and anxiety; true Christian forgiveness; appropriate boundaries with family members; redemptive suffering; gratitude and joy; and more. (The Life-Giving Wounds Retreat Guide walks participants through the retreat, with talk pointers, handouts, and space for notes.)
*Guided small group discussions with peers. Many retreatants identify this time as their favorite part of the retreat; it can be very healing to discover that others are facing similar challenges and really “get it.” The small groups allow an opportunity to “unpack” the material in the presentations. However, we know that not everyone is comfortable sharing in a small-group setting, and that people process information differently. Thus, participating in a small group is optional, and retreatants can opt instead for personal prayer or journaling time.
*Guided journaling. Everyone has a story and it is important to write it out because by doing so participants grieve, grow in clarity, and untangle the different emotions, effects, and moments in their lives related to the pain of their parents’ divorce or separation. We therefore encourage journaling and prompt participants with specific questions so that they receive insight and healing through this process. Many participants tell us how helpful it is to have one unified story by the end of the retreat, a story that sheds light on who they are and where they need to grow. Many also tell us that they would have never done this on their own, and that the journaling prompts are very motivating and helpful for their healing. (We have our own Life-Giving Wounds Journal, too!)
*Prayer and sacraments. As a Catholic retreat, our in-person weekends includes sacramental moments (Eucharist and Confession) and prayerful devotions like Eucharistic adoration, scriptural meditation, and the Divine Mercy Chaplet. On our online retreats, prayer is part of every session, and we encourage attendees to spend time in adoration and go to confession during the retreat timeframe. Moments of prayer are presented with care and reverence on the retreat, with the strong conviction that our faith is the greatest source of healing. At the same time, all ACODs are welcome to attend regardless of their religious background or current connection to their faith. It’s always an option to spend time in personal prayer or journaling if individuals do not want to participate in a certain religious activity.
One final point: Healing IS possible but it is an ongoing process. The Life-Giving Wounds retreat hopes to be a significant turning point in your ongoing healing journey. With the help of our merciful Father, we hope to help retreatants see how their life-draining wounds can be transformed into life-giving resources of faith, hope, love, and joy, even in the deepest suffering.