Resources for Adult Children of Divorce or Separation

We’ve heard from so many adult children of divorce or separation that when their parents split up - or when they started to feel/realize the effect that the breakup had on them - they didn’t know where to go for reliable information about what was happening, or what to do next. Plus, a lot of books, articles, etc., out there are more about divorce “happy talk” (“the kids are resilient,” etc.) rather than truly acknowledging and addressing the children’s experiences and pain. The below list of resources gives some print and online materials that can be helpful as you sort through your emotions and experiences as an adult child of divorce or separation.

DISCLAIMER: While the following resources are helpful in many respects, their listing on this page does not mean that Life-Giving Wounds endorses or agrees with every aspect or part of these resources (other than our own). They are offered here in the hopes that some of their content may be helpful to adult children of divorce or those who minister to them. We encourage you to be discerning about what resources you choose to utilize and critically evaluate them in light of your faith and values. 

LOOKING FOR COUNSELING RESOURCES? Before you start your search, we suggest viewing this free Catholic course about “A Catholic’s Guide to Choosing a Therapist” by the Souls and Hearts ministry. See also our blog article “Seeking Therapy as an Adult Child of Divorce”.

LOOKING FOR GENERAL AND CATHOLIC MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES? Here is a list of resources we’ve compiled for mental health crises, suicidal situations, addictions, abuse, and more.

Have another suggestion? Please contact us and we’ll try to review it.

Books, Handouts, and Saints

Audio, Podcasts, and Videos 

Articles and Blog Posts

Art, Movies, and Music

Online Community

Books, Handouts, and Saints

Must-Reads (particularly helpful or foundational works)

Other Helpful Books on Relevant Topics

  • Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, Psy.D., 2015 - read our book review here

  • The Children of Divorce: The Loss of Family as the Loss of Being by Andrew Root, 2010

  • Home Will Never Be the Same Again: A Guide for Adult Children of Gray Divorce by Carol R. Hughes and Bruce R. Fredenburg - read our book review here

  • The Long Way Home: The Powerful 4-Step Plan for Adult Children of Divorce By M. Gary Neuman

  • The Love They Lost: Living with the Legacy of Our Parents’ Divorce by Stephanie Staal, 2000

  • Born Only Once: The Miracle of Affirmation, by Conrad W. Baars, MD 2016.

  • Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, updated and expanded edition 2017

  • Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, 1999

  • The Catholic Guide to Depression: How the Saints, the Sacraments, and Psychiatry Can Help You Break Its Grip and Find Happiness Again by Aaron Kheriarty, 2012

  • The Twelve Steps and the Sacraments by Scott Weeman, 2017

  • “Children and Divorce” pamphlet from the Ruth Institute

  • Co-Dependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie, 1986

  • Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown, 2012

  • Forgiving and Reconciling: Bridges to Wholeness and Hope by Everett L. Worthington, Jr., 2003

  • Why Forgive? By Johann Christoph Arnold, 2000

  • The Good Listener by James E. Sullivan, 2000

  • Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl, 2006 edition

  • Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love: Practical Insights from John Paul II’s Love and Responsibility, revised and expanded edition, by Edward Sri, 2015

  • On The Christian Meaning of Human Suffering (Salvifici Doloris) by Saint John Paul II, 1984

  • Arise from Darkness: What to Do When Life Doesn’t Make Sense by Benedict J. Groeschel, C.F.R., 1995

  • Called to Love: Approaching John Paul II’s Theology of the Body by Carl Anderson and Jose Granados, 2012

  • Theology of the Body in One Hour by Jason Evert, 2017

  • A helpful list of book reviews on works concerning adult children of divorce

Handouts & Infographics from Life-Giving Wounds

Saints and Holy People

The following saints came from very broken, dysfunctional homes or could be a saintly or holy friend for children of divorce for various reasons listed. Check out their biographies.

  • St. Eugene de Mazenod, patron saint of dysfunctional families and a child of divorce

  • St. Martin de Porres, O.P., born out of wedlock and father abandoned the family

  • St. Margaret Costello, not an ACOD, but both of her parents abandoned her

  • St. Margaret of Cortona, not an ACOD, but after her mother’s death she had a cruel step-mother that forced her to flee home

  • St. Augustine, not an ACOD, but had an alcoholic and abusive father before his father’s conversion later in life

  • Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, lived in fear of his parents divorcing, see our blog article “A Saintly Friend for Children of Divorce”

  • Blessed Carlo Acutis, not an ACOD, but he looked out for and cared for a friend who was a child of divorce

  • St. John Paul II, not an ACOD, but knew intimately about the loss of family since his entire immediate family had died by the age of 21

  • Mother Angelica, who is not yet a blessed or saint, but is a holy person who was an ACOD in modern times

  • For more, see Aleteia’s article “10 Saints with Dysfunctional Families”.

  • Finally, the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and St. Joseph, who invites us into their family and gives us a role model of love to emulate in a unique way as an ACOD

Audio, Podcasts, Video

  • “Four Marriage Tips for Adult Children of Divorce” - video by Dr. Daniel Meola and Bethany Meola

  • Made for Love podcast (USCCB), episodes 37 and 38: “Adult Children of Divorce: Part I and Part II,” featuring Dr. Daniel Meola and others. Available here.

  • Messy Family podcast, episode 156: “Being an Adult Child of Divorce,” featuring Mike Hernon, who is a frequent collaborator with us. Available here.

  • Restored podcast, episode 9: "A Retreat for Adult Children of Divorce," featuring Dr. Daniel Meola. Available here. Note: this is a little dated using an old title for our retreats.

  • Restored podcast, episode 11: “I Thought My Parents’ Divorce Didn’t Affect Me,” featuring Jennifer Cox, a Life-Giving Wounds leader. Available here.

  • Gotta Be Saints podcast, episode 7: “Life-Giving Wounds: Healing for Adult Children of Divorce,” featuring Alexander Wolfe, a Life-Giving Wounds leader. Available here.

  • Audio from a Theology on Tap presentation in Arlington, VA on “Life-Giving Wounds: Pastoral Ministry for Adult Children of Divorce,” by Alexander Wolfe.

  • Restored podcast for adult children of divorce, which can be found here: https://restoredministry.com/podcast

  • Saint Raymond Nonnatus Foundation’s 10-part podcast for healing adult children of divorce: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUEB2HU9acADzdqVphRCDFEekBQETGLV_

  • “The Lifelong Impact of Divorce on Children” by Leila Miller

Articles and Blog Posts

Art, Movies, and Music

The following artwork expresses either the sadness of broken families, the joy of family life, or important Christian themes for healing. See more on our Art for Healing page!

The following movies address both the realities of broken and divorced families and important themes for healing as children of these homes.

  • Catch Me if You Can, Movie Rating: PG-13

  • Good Will Hunting, Movie Rating: R

  • Parent Trap (1961 version and 1998 version), Movie Rating: PG

  • E.T. the Extra-Terrestial, Movie Rating: PG.

  • Mrs. Doubtfire, Movie Rating: PG-13.

  • Now and Then, Movie Rating: PG-13.

  • Weekends by Trevor Jimenez, Animated Short-Film, Movie Rating: R.

  • Up by Disney Pixar Films, Movie Rating: PG

  • A.C.O.D by Black Bear Pictures, Movie Rating: R

The following music and music videos (found on YouTube) reflect on the reality of parental divorce and its pain from the child’s perspective, or provide a message of empathy or healing.

Online Community

Life-Giving Wounds has active YouTube, Facebook and Instagram pages: anyone can join us there!

We also have an exclusive online community through Mighty Networks for all LGW alumni. It’s an invite-only community to protect confidentiality and have a safe place to continue to process our wounds and heal without trolls, tracking, ad solicitations, etc. associated with public mainstream social media. To gain access to the alumni online community you need to first attend a LGW online or in-person retreat or support group. Every person is either invited as part of their event (if online) or afterwards by email (if in-person). Lost or missed your invite? Please email info@lifegivingwounds.org to get a new invite.

We also have a separate online community for LGW leaders and LGW monthly or annual donors ($500 or more) of our ministry. To gain access to the donor area, called LGW Insiders, all you have to do is simply sign up to be a monthly donor or make an annual donation of $500 or more at www.lifegivingwounds.org/give . Lost or missed your donor invite to the LGW Insiders community? Again, we’re happy to help! Email us at info@lifegivingwounds.org .

We look forward to seeing you through one of these online communities and opportunities!