The Feast of the Holy Family
As a single young adult whose parents separated in my late teens, I’ve often felt very out of place on the Feast of the Holy Family. Sitting alone in the pew, listening to a homily about the importance of families, is a stark reminder of all that I have lost or don’t yet have. Yet despite this, or maybe because of it, the Holy Family itself has become a great source of comfort for me as an adult child of divorce. One Scripture passage in particular gives me incredible hope and joy: Luke 2:41-49, The Boy Jesus in the Temple.
Each year his parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom. After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”
So often we can read this passage passively, knowing exactly how it will end. But when we truly focus on the Holy Family, their humanity can comfort us in the midst of our own challenging family situations. First and foremost, this is a story about Mary and Joseph losing Jesus for three days! Think of the panic that must have set in for them as they searched for their son. Mary even states that “your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety” (Luke 2:48). This passage shows us that we can unite our own anxiety and suffering about our families with the Holy Family. Mary and Joseph know how we feel when our own family situations create anxiety or worry. Their family, just like ours, had challenges and worries, too.
Yet, even among those challenges and anxieties, where was Jesus found? With his faith community. While this passage highlights the Divinity of Christ, it can also provide us with an insight into his, and our, humanity. Jesus, while lacking his earthly family after he was separated from his parents, takes comfort in his Father’s house. How often do we, as adult children of divorce, seek community outside of our family structures? Do we, like Jesus, seek comfort and compassion from our Father and our faith communities? I invite you to reflect on the communities of love and support in your own lives, ones that lead you closer to Christ and our Holy Family. How has God provided for you through these communities?
The next time our fears and anxieties as adult children of divorce seem too much to bear, remember that the Holy Family is journeying with us. Together with our larger faith communities, God is calling us to Him as a part of His family. So this year, on the Feast of the Holy Family, know that you are not alone. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph are with you. They are comforting you in your anxieties and journeying with you as a part of your faith community.
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Tori Fedora teaches high school theology in Pittsburgh, PA, where her students know that she can’t go more than 30 minutes without mentioning John Paul II. A graduate of Chestnut Hill College, she is currently pursuing a M.A. in Theology from Duquesne University.
When she’s not teaching or studying, you’ll find her reading a good book, hiking, or playing soccer.