To wear a mask

Some call a sign of fear.

Do you, then, dare to drop its comfort?

To reveal your face—

Nay more, your very soul—

To one who loves, searches, knows, 

Lays bare your very self? 

I used to wear a mask upon my heart.

I let it fall

Only to snatch it back again

When confronted with the utmost vulnerability.

My lover is patient, he is kind;

He will not force me—

Yet now he scarcely dares to hope

That I will let it fall again. 

My image

I cling to my image

Though we both know it lies, 

Shattered in the dust around my feet.

Still I mourn and weep

Over the shards.

Almost—dare I say it?

Almost more than I mourn 

My lifeless son. 

Yet he, I hope, is with God. 

He is not truly lifeless.

I myself destroyed my image

In the eyes of my beloved,

And I too hope to be with God.

There all masks will be stripped away by Love itself.

Do I not, then, owe Him thanks

For this chance to choose with my own will?

To let go of what I hold most dear:

My pride.

To hold my lover’s gaze

Unmasked. 

Believing

(Though we know we are weak)

Believing, at least, in Love itself—

Through which, alone, we have the power

To love, and keep on loving

When confronted with each other’s darkest selves.

Of darkness there is plenty. 

Do you believe

Love never fails?

This alone can give the strength

To try again today.

My words are failing 

I long for resolution

And a happy ending,

But I am still on the way.

Lord, in Your mercy let me live

Unmasked. 

About the poem

I have always hated being vulnerable, even when I was a little child, and my parents’ divorce only worsened this tendency. I wrote this poem when I was filled with emotional turmoil over the difficulty, and yet the necessity, of being vulnerable towards my spouse. After being married for long enough, it’s impossible to hide your true self anymore: you can’t pretend or fake it (at least I can’t). Being a very proud person, I have struggled a lot, knowing that my husband knows all about my weaknesses and failings—and yet at the same time I have a very deep desire to be totally known and loved. This poem explores this theme, while also touching on the grief of losing our fifth child at 22 weeks last year. I wrote it, incidentally, on the day Russia invaded Ukraine (though I think I was still unaware of the news). The process of writing the poem helped to bring some catharsis to my grief and anger. Also, let me add that God has really blessed my marriage in the months since I wrote the poem; He is slowly healing my heart to believe that I really am loved even though I am weak. 

About the Author

Murielle Blanchard graduated from Wyoming Catholic College in 2015. She and her husband (also a WCC grad) live in New Mexico with their four children. In her small amounts of spare time, she enjoys reading, working out, baking, and painting. Her work can be found at www.etsy.com/shop/DesertShipOfBeauty.

Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals

1. “Do you believe Love never fails?”

2. Would you describe yourself as masked or unmasked?

3. What lessons on vulnerability do you draw from this poem?

4. How does this poem speak to you?