The Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary into heaven is a time to remember not just the fact that She was assumed into heaven, both body and soul, but also that prior to this event She had been separated from Her Son, Our Lord, for many years. How great was the pain that She must have felt in that separation? Her soul, so pure and innocent, so full of love for Her Son, would have experienced this pain at such a deep and profound level – at the core of Her very being. For Her, every day that passed without the “Light of the World” must have felt like utter darkness.

When my parents separated, my whole life changed. Things were so radically different, that it was as if a cloud of darkness descended upon my life before the separation. To this day, I do not remember in detail what my life was like before my parents separated. But the greater darkness is what happens in the soul of a child of divorce. Although my parents were and are still alive, it was as though I had experienced a death – the death of my family. Yes, I still have my mother and yes, my father as well, but never again will there be my father, my mother, and me, together. That is over. The pain of separation in the case of divorce, for the child of divorce, is the pain associated with death.

For most of my young life, after the divorce, I told myself that my parents were better off separated and so I never really expressed to myself or to them my true desire, to have my family back. I think I embraced the death of my family without really grieving it. I thought because they were no longer fighting that they must be happy. But life showed otherwise. They were not happy. They just were no longer fighting. Families that are not alive do not fight.

But much like the Blessed Mother, Who although separated from Her Divine Son by the veil of this life, sought the fulfillment of Her life, to be with Him, so does the soul of a child of divorce still seek the fulfillment of her life within the family. For me, I have always yearned to be part of a loving family that spends time together, laughs and cries together, travels together, grows together, and gets through tough times together. But on this pilgrimage through life, it often seems like there is more to grieve than to receive in terms of fulfillment, so where does this leave the child of divorce?

Again, Our Blessed Mother shows us the way through Her Assumption into Heaven. For Her entire life after She was separated from Her Son, she awaited the time of His return to Her. She knew that nothing in this world could fulfill Her other than Him. She prayed daily to be reunited with Divine Love – the love of the Trinity, of Whom the family is only an image. And it was on this day that Her fulfillment came. On that day, Our Lord said these words to Her:

“Grieve not, but let your heart rejoice and be glad; for you have found grace to behold the glory given to me by my Father…Behold, from the present time your precious body will be transferred to paradise, and your holy soul to the heavens to the treasures of my Father in exceeding brightness, where there is peace and joy of the holy angels — and other things besides.”- Excerpt from The Account of St. John the Theologian of the Falling Asleep of the Holy Mother of God

No matter what life brings to the child of divorce, the promise that Our Lord ultimately fulfills is that our souls will experience heaven with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, where there is peace and joy. The pain of separation is an ever-present reality in a broken, fallen, and passing world. But if we faithfully live our lives with Christ, then He will bring our lives to fulfillment as He did for His own Blessed Mother on this day.

Happy Feast of the Assumption of Our Lady into heaven! May Her prayer at the assumption come true for us all:

“O God, who through Your great goodness hast sent from the heavens Your only-begotten Son to dwell in my humble body, who hast deigned to be born of me, humble as I am, have mercy upon the world, and every soul that calls upon Your name…O Lord, King of the heavens, Son of the living God, accept every man who calls upon Your name, that Your birth may be glorified…O Lord Jesus Christ, who art all-powerful in heaven and on earth, in this appeal I implore Your holy name; in every time and place where there is made mention of my name, make that place holy, and glorify those that glorify You through my name, accepting of such persons all their offering, and all their supplication, and all their prayer.” - Excerpt from The Account of St. John the Theologian of the Falling Asleep of the Holy Mother of God

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Dr. Natasha P. Wilson is an adult child of divorce, a Catholic convert, and a math and science teacher.