Sit for a while with the Gospel for the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart. 

At that time Jesus exclaimed:
“I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth,
for although you have hidden these things
from the wise and the learned
you have revealed them to little ones.
Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will.
All things have been handed over to me by my Father.
No one knows the Son except the Father,
and no one knows the Father except the Son
and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him.

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for yourselves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

-        Matthew 11:25-30

Reflect on how known Jesus is by his Father. This can bring a tinge of pain at not feeling known by our own father or mother. But ultimately we can pause and find comfort in knowing that God knows us so deeply – deeper even than we know ourselves. 

Let’s imagine ourselves coming before Jesus, our hearts heavily burdened by the wound of our parents’ divorce, and seeing Him waiting with out-stretched arms. He is not shocked by how much our wounds hurt us, and he doesn’t tell us we shouldn't feel so bad. He's just ready to receive us and hold us close to His Sacred Heart. 

His Heart knows our pain of feeling rejected and abandoned, of loving so much but not being loved in return. He knows the wounds we feel, and we can just be present to Him and share our pain with Him, knowing that He understands it. 

Maybe we feel weary from trying to mend our parents’ hearts, from trying to be there for everyone else, even when our own hearts are hurting. But in this moment Jesus is asking us to just be with Him, to rest our heads against His Heart. To feel His love surrounding us.

There is a burden we've been yoked with due to others' choices. But we can choose to carry this burden the way Jesus intends, with Him rather than alone. How does He carry his own cross? Think of the Stations. He allows himself to be comforted by others, to be helped by others. He feels crushed under the weight of the cross, and falls, He even comforts others along the way. Can we carry our own cross, allowing Him to carry it with us, accepting help, admitting how heavy it can be at times, comforting others?

Jesus’s Sacred Heart is meek and humble. Do we know what these virtues are? 

When we look to Jesus, we see that He was not a doormat. Meekness moderates anger and keeps our reactions and strength in check. Jesus knows that we can struggle with anger over the injustice of our parents’ divorce and the fallout from it. We can learn from Him how to acknowledge this anger, and how to respond to it rightly with the virtue of meekness. Not lashing out, but defending what is true with a peaceful heart. And humility, seeing ourselves as God sees us, with all our strengths and weaknesses, knowing that we are deeply loved despite our faults. 

Let’s meditate on how God sees us as His children, whom he would never abandon or forsake. We don't have to be afraid of some ugly part of ourselves, because He already knows it all. Still He calls to us with open arms, to come to Him and rest. He will help us clean up any parts of ourselves that need it. But it will be much easier to do the work of “cleaning up” if we know with confidence how much we are loved. 

Humility also means not reaching for what is beyond us. Of course God calls us to be saints, to dream big. But we shouldn’t take on what is not for us to take on. We shouldn’t try to be the Savior for everyone in our family of origin, trying to fix everything and be the sole support, to be the counselor, friend and mentor when we are supposed to be the child. That's beyond what we can do, and beyond what we should do. Of course we love and support others in a healthy way, but part of that is acknowledging what is beyond us, and pointing our loved ones in that direction. Ultimately only Jesus can heal them. We have to sit and gaze at Him, knowing that He loves them more than we do. He has given others gifts and talents that are appropriate to help them.  It is humble to acknowledge we cannot do it all, and that our loving Lord doesn't ask that of us. 

We don't have to do this alone. Jesus wants to be yoked with us as we heal. He's not disgusted by our wounds, but He can heal them with His love, and make them beautiful points of grace in our lives and the lives of others. 

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Heather Strickland is a graduate of Christendom College. While there she spent a good deal of time in the Legion of Mary, where she learned a lot about looking at those suffering in the world through Mary's Motherly gaze. While at College she also met her husband. They have settled down in Northern VA, with their son and are looking forward to celebrating 5 years of marriage soon.