‘Cause my brokenness brought me to You
And these wounds are a story You'll use
So I'm thankful for the scars
'Cause without them I wouldn't know Your heart
And I know they'll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars

“Scars” by I Am They

I was driving in the car the other day when the above song “Scars” came on the radio. The lyrics spoke straight to my heart.

Being grateful and thankful for our wounds, pain, and scars may seem a bit foreign and, quite frankly, impossible. The wounds of our parents’ divorces have shaped so much of our lives, the decisions we have made, and what we believe about ourselves. Perhaps you are just realizing the effects of your parents’ divorce; you are overwhelmed and afraid you’ll be stuck in that place of fear and sadness forever. Or maybe you are years into your healing and are now navigating life with your own family as you plan family get-togethers and holidays. Or maybe it’s the normal, day-to-day struggles and frustrations that speak the loudest and you find yourself questioning the purpose of it all.

I get it. Truly. There are days, even recently, when I am so overwhelmed with my struggles and find myself saying, “If only I didn’t have to deal with this…” or “If only my parents stayed together…” “If only I worked harder in therapy or just got over myself quicker... “If only, if only, if only…” Perhaps you find yourself thinking similar things? I’d like to challenge you a little and speak into that doubt: you are more than your wounds. You are loved just as you are. You are capable. You are enough.

Your suffering matters.

Your struggles matter.

Your pain matters.

They matter, not because God wills them to happen, but, because our wounds can be a way to bring us to something more. They can bring us to Christ. When we choose to run to Him and lay it all down at His feet — His feet on the Cross — we unite our sufferings with His. Christ didn’t suffer and die pointlessly! He suffered and died so that every single person has the opportunity to know His Father and live eternally in Heaven. Christ’s wounds have the power for salvation. But, our wounds have power, too:

Power to bring us closer to Christ.

Power to teach us and stretch us.

Power to bring healing to others.

Power to bring others to Him.

As I mentioned before, it is through the Life-Giving Wounds ministry that I received the grace of gratefulness specifically for the wound of my parents’ divorce. Through the retreat and the support group, I have had the opportunity to share my story. In sharing my story — my pain, my struggles, my healing, my hope — I have been able to remind others that they are not alone. I have been able to sit with them, hear their stories, cry with them, and pray with them. I’ve offered others support, compassion, and encouragement. I have been able to witness Christ’s love transforming their hearts and accompanying them as they reach for new hope.

It is because of my wound that I am able to be compassionate to others who are in pain and suffering. It is because of my wound that I can step into this sacred, intimate space with others. It is because of my wound that I am closer to our Lord. Closer to His most Sacred and tender Heart.

This realization leaves me speechless and in awe.

How could I not be grateful for this gift?

——

Jen is the Nursing Director for a small non-profit serving children with special needs, outside of Washington, DC. However, she is most proud to be called a friend, daughter, godmother and aunt! Jen is a contributor to Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak and serves on the retreat team for the DC-based Life Giving Wounds retreats. She has a heart to sit with others in their pain and to encourage them in their healing!