For (almost) the past year, I have been on an unexpected path in my healing journey. It all started a few days into January 2021 when a friend mentioned to me there was a podcast in which Father Mike Schmitz was walking people through the Bible in a year (called, naturally, “The Bible in a Year”). Instead of reading the Bible from cover to cover, Father Mike, Jeff Cavins, and the people at Ascension Press had broken it down following, as closely as possible, the Great Adventure Bible Timeline. Although I didn’t know much about that program at the time, what I did get was that this Bible in a year reading plan would follow the story of the Bible and not just simply read the books in order. As Father Mike says every day in the introduction: “We’ll read all the way from Genesis to Revelation, discovering how the story of salvation unfolds and how we fit into that story today.” I was ready and willing to try this adventure and I am so glad I was open to it! Along the way, I have encountered three unexpected areas of healing with regards to the wounds from my parents’ divorce.

First, I have found so much healing in the story of the family of God, and I have begun to see my place in God’s perfectly imperfect family. 

It can be easy as an ACOD to think we have no true family history because our family was torn apart by our parents’ divorce or separation. Or we can be ashamed of our background. I know I was for a long time. My parents have been divorced since I was two. Growing up, I made every effort to make sure everyone knew our family was just as good as everyone else’s who had a mom and a dad at home….and maybe even better. This was part of what fueled my perfectionism. I desperately wanted to prove that my family of origin didn’t make me less worthy or more broken. I worked hard in school so I would remain at the top of the class. And it ‘paid off’: when I graduated high school I was ranked number 1 out of 500 students in my class. 

But you know what? Running from my family story, or trying to prove my worth, didn’t make me feel any better about it all. Although it’s been fourteen years since high school, I still often find myself wanting to ‘prove’ how I’m not broken or different because of my past and my parents’ divorce. I still tend towards wanting to make sure the broken parts are vastly overshadowed by my ‘achievements’ and ‘successes’.

But listening to Fr. Mike’s podcast over the past year, my perspective on what it means to come from a ‘good’ family has been completely changed. I have been immersed in a story about a family that is immensely broken and immensely beautiful: the family of God. 

By virtue of my Baptism, I am a full member of the family of God. And I have been realizing more and more that THIS story, more than anything else, is my family story, my family history. 

Second, I have found healing the wound of my father’s abandonment of our family through the steadfast witnesses of Father Mike and Jeff Cavins. 

What an amazing gift it has been to log onto my device every day and know that Father Mike has been faithful to his promise to record and release the next episode. It feels sort of strange to admit how the release of a podcast has brought healing, but from age two onwards, my impression of a father was one who said he would do something and failed to deliver. It wasn’t until maybe eight months into listening to the podcast I realized how important the masculine presence of Father Mike (and at each new Biblical time period, Jeff Cavins) was for my heart. Over the past year, they have shown me, daily, how men can show up for their children (spiritual children in this case). 

And lastly, I have found healing in the power of God’s Word. 
You may be thinking this “result” should have been expected, and I will admit you are correct. So often, I am oblivious to the most obvious. Father Mike has even said in his commentary many times how much God’s word changes us as we listen to it every day. But, there’s hearing something with your ears and then there’s hearing something with your heart. It seems to have taken me over 300 days to realize how much my heart has been changed. 

Every day for (almost) the past year, I have been able to enter into a sacred space where my heart is being taught to trust again through the power of the story of Salvation History. No matter where I am on my journey, I have found characters and stories that speak to me and show me the path towards healing. More often than not, this path has been revealed through the failures and brokenness of the characters and situations. 

This third point of healing is really the journey we are all on together. We are all in need of the power of God’s faithful word every day of our lives. Through ups and downs, ins and outs, God’s word is steady and sure. The healing too is steady and sure; rooted in truth and love and goodness. 

In the end, all I can say is: What a relief it has been to hear how the story of God’s people is filled with those who have mistrusted, distrusted, abused, and abandoned God...and yet He still loves them. What a relief it has been to see how God never fails to be faithful, no matter what His people have done. Hearing the story about how God has brought about our salvation in the midst of imperfection has continually calmed the perfectionist in me. 

I invite you to take this journey as well,in whatever way works for you at this time. You can start listening to the podcast at any point, and follow it for a year. Will this be the year you allow God’s word to heal you in unexpected ways? 

Intercessory Prayer:

St. Jerome, Patron Saint of Biblical Study, please pray for us as we read scripture, that we may read it with an open mind and heart, that God will work in it to speak to us, and that we know Him better by doing so.

About the author:

Stephanie is a wife and mother of 3 boys. She and her family live in PA. Her husband works for their local parish and she homeschools their boys. According to her eight year old, she enjoys reading, napping and watching The Chosen.

Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals

1. What has been your experience with the bible in the past, or more recently?

2. When you read the story of the bible, do you see your “place in God’s perfectly imperfect family?”

3. What is the difference between “ hearing something with your ears” and “hearing something with your heart?”

4. Will this be the year you allow God’s word to heal you in unexpected ways?"