We use the following meditation on Life-Giving Wounds retreats and it has been requested many times that I publish it on our website, so here you go! I’ll share an introduction to it, some guidance for personal meditation, and the actual meditation that you can read slowly and prayerfully with Christ. Enjoy and please share this with others.

Introduction

For adult children of divorce or separation, it is a helpful practice to meditate upon Scriptures, especially the Wedding Feast of Cana, in light of our past memories of our parents’ divorce or separation and its wounded aftermath. The Wedding Feast of Cana represents the newness that Christ brings to marriage, love, and our past wounds. Below is a meditation on this scripture passage using a slightly tweaked Ignatian method of meditation that I personally use, a method which can help ‘re-teach’ our hearts about authentic love and help heal painful memories. I pray it brings healing to your hearts like it did for my own as I wrote this meditation as my own personal prayer to God for healing painful memories in my own life. To enter prayerfully into this meditation, here are few basic instructions:

General Instructions for Personal Meditation (Ignatian Style)

• Read the Scripture passage once, slowly.

• Read it a second time.

• Close your eyes.

• Place yourself in the position of someone in the passage, or a bystander nearby. Use your five senses to imagine the scene around you throughout this meditation. What do you taste? What do you see? What do you feel within and without? What do you smell? What do you hear? (We do this below for you.)

• Relate the biblical situation to your own life, and especially to your suffering connected to your parents’ divorce or separation, recalling one memory. (We’ll prompt you below.)

• Recall specific words and phrases in the Scripture passage, especially Christ’s words. Let them be spoken to you in that moment from your life and then ask what Christ is speaking to you now for your own life. (Again, we’ll prompt you below to meditate along these lines.)

• End the meditation by letting Christ hold you close to His heart. Listen to His heartbeat and with every beat hear “I love you.”  Know that you are a beloved child of God.

Scriptural Meditation on the Wedding Feast of Cana for Adult Children of Divorce

Scripture passage:

“On the third day there was a wedding in Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the wedding. When the wine ran short, the mother of Jesus said to him, ‘They have no wine.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.’ His mother said to the servers, ‘Do whatever he tells you.’ Now there were six stone water jars there for Jewish ceremonial washings, each holding twenty to thirty gallons. Jesus told them, ‘Fill the jars with water.’ So they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, ‘Draw some out now and take it to the headwaiter.’ So they took it. And when the headwaiter tasted the water that had become wine, without knowing where it came from (although the servers who had drawn the water knew), the headwaiter called the bridegroom and said to him, ‘Everyone serves good wine first, and then when people have drunk freely, an inferior one; but you have kept the good wine until now. Jesus did this as the beginning of his signs in Cana in Galilee and so revealed his glory, and his disciples began to believe in him” (John 2: 1-11).

Meditation (to be done after reading the above scriptural passage):

Close your eyes and visualize the scene. (Pause, breath in, breath out, and then open your eyes once you’ve had a chance to visualize the scene.)

What are you seeing as you take the place of the bridegroom, or the bride who is by his side? What are your surroundings? Do you hear laughter and sounds of joy all around you at the feast? Is there music?  Are you excited that you have entered into holy marriage? What smells are in the air? Do you taste the food or sip the wine that is in front of you? Do you see your beautiful spouse? What is he or she wearing? (Pause)

Like the bridegroom, you are anxious about the wine running out.  Wine represents the joy of life, the joy of love. Perhaps your “wine” too has run out, because of your parents’ divorce or separation.  Do you feel dry and empty like the wineskin that held the wine? (Pause)

Recall now a negative experience related to relationships, one that you feel is somehow connected to your parents’ divorce or separation. Perhaps you are afraid of becoming too close to someone. Perhaps you were making the same mistake your parents did. Perhaps, as a result, you now think that love does not last forever. Perhaps it is a deep loneliness. Whatever it is, recall it now. (Pause)

Are you alone or with someone? If with someone, then what would you say to the other person? (Pause)

Our Mother Mary now comes to your assistance, like she did at the Wedding Feast of Cana. She is moved by your sorrow. She turns to Christ, who is there with her, visibly moved with agony. She asks Christ for a new wine, a new joy for your life. Do you see them with you, gazing lovingly at you, and speaking about a wine for you? (Pause)

At first, Christ’s response seems jarring: “Woman, how does your concern affect me? My hour has not yet come.” Does Christ not care about you? Does he not care about us? Perhaps there is no new wine in life. Yet then you hear Mary’s last words to us in Scripture: “Do whatever He tells you.” She understands the true meaning of Christ’s words. She knows that the question of Christ – “How does your concern affect me?” – is not a lack of sympathy but an invitation to faith. Mary responds with a perfect act of faith: “Do whatever he tells you.” Can we hear these same words spoken by Mary to us? “Do whatever he tells you.” What is your response? Will you believe in Christ’s power to act in your life? (Pause)

At this moment, Christ takes water used for Jewish purification rites for marriage, and he turns it into wine. By this surprising act, Christ indicates that he is bringing a new joy to our life by transforming marriage into something unfathomably beautiful and holy. He is making it new (a new “wine”). Married love now carries His presence; and because of His presence, that love is capable of never failing. Of course, many marriages still end in divorce due to human sin, but when a couple’s love is caught up within divine love – in a Sacrament – it can never be broken at the deepest level. It is this wine of Christ’s love – ultimately poured out for the Church on the Cross and made sacramentally present in the Eucharist – that he offers to safeguard and to strengthen our human love in the face of sin and brokenness within humanity. Taste this wine that the headwaiter brings to you on behalf of Christ. What does it taste like? Is it sweet or semi-sweet? Wet or dry? Is it cool or warm? (Pause)

You are astonished at the quality of this wine. It is unlike anything you have ever tasted before. You look at your spouse with a smile. There is something new here now. The headwaiter says to you, “Everyone serves the good wine first and then when people have drunk freely, an inferior one; but you have kept the good wine until now.” Now with a smile, together you and your spouse drink some more. It is so good, so pure. It refreshes your lips and mouth, parched dry from the joylessness from your parents’ divorce or separation. As you take another sip of wine, feel this new indissoluble love of Christ entering into every limb within your body – your veins, your hands, your head, and your heart. (Pause)

Then, with your spouse beside you, you hold the chalice of this new wine together. You do not need to ask the headwaiter where it came from. You both know. You look to Christ and he looks at you. He raises his hands, lays them upon you, and blesses you. Love now lasts forever not because it has been freed from all mistakes or weaknesses, but because your love is in his hands. You begin to believe in this new love, like the disciples at Cana began to believe in Christ. Christ embraces you. You can hear his heartbeat. With every beat it says, “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.” Stay there as long as you want and know that you are God’s beloved. (Pause)