If your parents are divorced or have split up, you’re not alone. While family breakdown can impact a child’s life in several noticeable ways - such as being more likely to grow up in poverty, more likely to drop out of school, and more likely to experience emotional or behavioral problems - it’s harder to see the invisible wounds that can last into adulthood. But these wounds are no less real, and deserve attention in order to heal. Here are five invisible wounds that adult children of divorce may experience.

1. The wound of silence

Many adult children of divorce report feeling pressure (explicit or perceived) to not share their honest feelings about how their parents’ split affected them. Maybe they feel surrounded by what researcher Elizabeth Marquardt calls “divorce happy talk” that makes negative feelings seem unwelcome or even wrong. Or maybe they’re still reeling from the trauma of divorce (the word used in the Catechism), which can make people “freeze,” unable to examine the source of pain out of an understandable need for survival.

Please continue reading the full article on FemCatholic:

https://www.femcatholic.com/post/5-invisible-wounds-an-adult-child-of-divorce-may-experience

[Editor’s note: if you are having trouble accessing it on their website, click here for an archived copy.]

About the Author:

Bethany Meola is the co-founder and co-director of Life-Giving Wounds, together with her husband Dan. She holds a masters of theological studies from the Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family in Washington, DC.

Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals

1. Which of Bethany’s five points resonated with you most? Why may that be?

2. Can you think of other wounds that could be added to the list generally or from your particular experience?