When Your Parents Divorce, It Sticks with You
The Catechism says that “divorce brings grave harm . . . to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them” (2385). Traumatized is not a word to employ lightly, and its usage indicates the Church’s acknowledgment that divorce has deep and long-lasting effects on children that deserve attention and healing.
As with any trauma, the negative effects of divorce aren’t easily or quickly “gotten over.” Contrary to popular belief, divorce can and does continue to affect children far into the future, even those who outwardly seem to have “made it” relatively unscathed.
Being a child of divorce affects a person’s identity, triggering ontological questions about who he is and his place in the world and generating a deep sense of emotional homelessness.
Being a child of divorce affects a person’s future relationships, making it statistically more likely that she will go on to get divorced herself, if she marries at all. Children of divorce are also more likely than those from intact homes to cohabit with a romantic partner, and over half say they lack self-confidence in love relationships.
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Read the rest of Bethany’s article at Catholic Answers: https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/when-your-parents-divorce-it-sticks-with-you.
About the Author:
Bethany Meola is co-founder and Vice President of Life-Giving Wounds. She and her husband Dr. Daniel Meola (co-founder and President of LGW) met at the Pontifical John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and the Family in Washington, DC, where they both received masters degrees, and Dan completed his PhD in 2019. They live in Bowie, MD with their two daughters, a cat, and several fish.
Reflection Questions for Small Groups or Individuals
What are some ways you have noticed your parents’ divorce has stuck with you?
In the full article on Catholic.com, Bethany lists “three things we can do to help our world and our Church be a place where children of divorce can find the healing they desire and deserve.” They are: Break silence, Acknowledge the depth of the wounds & Open the doors of domestic churches. What else would you add to that list? Does one stand out to you as something you can do today?
Who are some people that have been positive role models in your life?